There are only about six weeks left in this year's summer vacation. It seems like it's flown by! I guess that is mainly because we've been so busy this summer. It's a good kind of busy because it is all about family and people I love! I am so thankful for the memories I have made and hope the lord blesses me with many years and a million future memories!
It's the night before my birthday and that's usually an exciting time for me. This year has been a little different though. Not that anything is going on necessarily, but I just got to thinking about something the other day. It seems like the older I get, the faster life flies by. It's a little scary how fast the time flies sometimes.
I can remember, when I was little, it seemed like it took FOREVER to get from Christmas to my birthday. Now it seems like I blink and it's Thanksgiving, and then in a flash it's Christmas and now I will turn 44 tomorrow. I was telling Johnnie, this morning, how I can remember vividly when I was in single digits. He just laughed and said that I wasn't old. I told him that I was half way to 88, and he replied, "Well then you're only half old". I've had that on my mind all day! I guess what's really on my mind has to do with the fact that I have unexpectedly lost friends recently and had some near misses with others. It just reminds me of just how precious life is.
I have often felt like I squandered a lot of precious time when I was younger. I don't know if it was due to lack of direction, or misdirection, or just plain apathy, but it just took me a while to get going in a true direction. I wonder if I am alone in feeling this way? Maybe that's my biggest question. Is it normal to come to a point where you question the life that you have already had and wonder if there will be enough time ahead of you to do all the things there are to be done? Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I got into my stride a little late and now I am just afraid that I won't get to all the things I want to while I am here! Even that thought raises a bunch of other things to consider!
I mean, my faith teaches me that this world is not my home! This life is temporary and I am on a mission to live so that I can spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven, but that doesn't mean that I should want to rush through this life, does it? I don't want to hurry through life just to get it over with. I would like to be able to enjoy every moment I can and leave my mark along the way! I don't want to miss a thing! Maybe it's the hurrying to get all the life experiences in that makes the years fly by..... There seems to be no solution to that problem. If I sit idle maybe life will slow down, but boy won't I miss out on the fun? If I rush to get to everything my life will be full, but likely fly by in the blink of an eye. I guess if I have to choose between the two, and I don't see any other choices. I choose to fill my life with love, experiences and all the things that make the best memories & I will let the time take care of itself! Besides, I would way rather be remembered for really living life.
Sure, I have some regrets over the last 44 years. I am sure that there is not a human alive anywhere who doesn't have regrets, but I have also learned a great many things about myself and others along the way.
This is what I have learned:
- I do not have to make excuses for ANY of my feelings
- I am so much more than the sum of my past mistakes
- There is room in life for do-overs
- Time does heal broken hearts
- You can find REAL love when and where you least expect it
- If you are blessed enough to find it, hold it tight with both hands
- When you do the right thing, the right things happen
- Time is the most precious commodity there is
So, I guess I am staring down another birthday and although I am not overly excited about it this year, I am hardly scared of it either!
No comments:
Post a Comment