It seems like we both went right back to the daily grind about as quick as our wheels stopped rolling in Louisiana. Johnnie went back to work the very next day and I started teaching my extended year classes.
With the first week of summer school behind me I finally got the time I needed to be able to go and be with my girlfriend whose husband passed away while we were gone. I got into my car for the drive over with a million mixed emotions running round in my head. It's funny how loud your thoughts can be sometimes.
Of course my friend and her family had been on my mind constantly over the past week, and I tried as hard as I could to stay connected through every form if digital media that I could, but I couldn't bring myself to dial her phone number to have an actual conversation. I felt like such a coward!
I guess I rationalized it to myself by thinking that if I don't hear her voice or we don't actually speak of our sadness it will mean that it isn't real. Seeing that thought in print I know that it is crazy, but it was just too painful to consider the reality that is upon us. Driving up toward her house and seeing his truck made my heart hurt because I knew that my friend is gone and no talking or not talking would change that.
And so, no words were needed. That was a good thing because I could not find the right ones to say to express my sorrow for her loss. Sometimes a hug and shared tears speak volumes.
We had a nice visit and even managed to laugh our way through some mundane errands. I am sure there will be more tears at times, but I am thankful for the laughter!
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