Sunday, January 26, 2014

Conflicted But Grateful

So I am sitting here at 11:26pm on a Sunday evening and I can't sleep so I decided to blog a little.  I feel like I am in and out of my element at the same time, if that makes sense. 

Johnnie and I, and some friends came down to south Louisiana to get away for the weekend and then my friend and I stayed for a conference that is going on the first part of the week. So anyway, I am in south Louisiana, which is probably one of my most favorite places to be.  I have so many happy memories of carefree days when I was young.   I never pass up an opportunity to head south. 

When I was younger I separated the two halves of Louisiana according to the color of the dirt. The red clay found north of Alexandria meant "going to the country", and grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins.  On the other hand, gumbo mud from the Atchafalaya all the way to New Orleans meant home. It's a funny thing how I have lived in north Louisiana for more years than I did south Louisiana,  but south still means home.  

That's what a lot of this weekend was about. There were sights, sounds, smells and tastes that all had some history attached to them.  It was absolutely wonderful.  It was so great it left me with a major conflict. 

Johnnie and I were riding around and I made the comment that I would move south again in a heartbeat. I genuinely meant it. I even asked him if he ever considered living in south Louisiana and he said he wouldn't mind it.  Then, in the very next sentence he said the words that brought my dream to a dead stop. 

He said, "There is no way you would move away from that baby (Beckham)."  I tried to be all big and say that it would be ok and that I could do it and that I would get to visit him as much as I do now, but that's not the truth and I knew it. So as much as I would love it, short of a miracle that would move us all south it looks like I will be staying put for now.  I did decide to pray about it though. 

I do believe that this is one the best times of the year to be in south LA, although I couldn't really say when a bad time to be here would be. What's so special you ask? Well it's after twelfth night and so carnival season has begun. Crews have chosen their royalty and parades are being planned.  Parties like you couldn't imagine will be taking place.

 In the stores there are all sorts of decorations styled in purple, green and gold!  The traditional pastry of a Mardi Gras, the king cake, can be found in boxes in neighborhood markets as well as in bottles of flavored vodka in local liquour stores.  

The air feels different down here. It always has to me.  Everywhere we went this weekend I heard that Cajun accent that has always sounded like music to my ears.  It's like I was being reacquainted with a dear old friend.  Sadly I will only be here for a short while and then it will be time to head north again.  I will make it back to the red dirt and then I will wait til it's time to visit home again. Both places are full of laughter and tears and I want them both.     

I don't like the either, or situations. I want to have my king cake and eat it too. So the conflict remains. I don't know how the story will play out, but I am going to raise the dilemma to the top of my prayer list. 

 

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