Happy Birthday!!!

Today's blog post is dedicated to my sweet sweet mother!  Today would've been her 72nd birthday.  I know that she is in Heaven with her mama and daddy and all the dear ones who have gone on before us. I know that they are having a celebration that is so grand that we can not even imagine how spectacular it is!  I can see a huge bowl of fresh fruit salad sitting beside an angel food cake that is beautifully decorated with pink fluffy 7 minute icing and cherries and an ice cold Coke on some "good" ice that has been washed just the way she liked it!

Several years have passed since she was called home, and I find myself counting backwards as I try to remember how old she would have been.  I often wonder how life might have been if she had been given more time on this earth.  My faith tells me that wanting her here with me is absolutely selfish.  I think of an old church song that says, "This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through!", and my soul knows that this is true, but my heart still misses her dearly!

Mama wasn't much for photographs.  I'm not really sure why that is.  To me, she was one of the most beautiful and stylish ladies I have ever been around, but for whatever reason I find that I have very few photographs of her.  I do cherish those which I still possess!

My mother was the epitome of what one might consider to be a fine southern lady.  She was kind, strong, fearless, loyal and loving.  She was a most excellent councilor and in many ways she was the glue that held our family together. She set such a fine example for those of us who loved her!

I think back to a time long ago, when I was a little girl.  I couldn't have been more than 6 years old.   I am not sure why I had it on my mind, but I asked her if she would live long enough for me to be able to take care of myself.  I remember feeling really relieved when she promised that she would.

Flash forward over 25 years...Sitting in an oncologist's office with my parents I heard a prognosis that brought me to my knees!  12 to 18 months is what the doctor had to say.  I felt like the wind had been knocked completely out of my lungs.  I wasn't ready.... I wasn't even close to ready!  I was sad.  I was shocked.  I was TERRIFIED!

Nearly a year later I found myself sitting in prayer for Mama.  I begged God to come back for us so that my family wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing her.  I said that prayer so many times I lost count!  As I prayed I found myself wondering, "Can I take care of myself?".  Maybe I could, but I sure didn't want to!

Over the next few years I wished for more!  I wanted more time.  I wanted more lessons.  I wanted more memories.  I just wanted more!

I don't know exactly when, but I did come to understand that while her body isn't here any more, she is still all around!  I saw her the other day when I walked up on my aunt Jan in the foyer at the church building.  I see her in the facial expressions my sweet Beckham makes all the time.  He wrinkles his little nose up and smiles and it's like she is looking right at me!  I have seen a glimpse of her in my own reflection in the mirror from time to time!  I feel her in the conversations that I have with my sweet Katie and everyone else who was lucky enough to know an love her!  I sometimes get messages from her  through songs on the radio and sometimes she visits me in my dreams!  I even hear her in the words that come out of my own mouth at times!  I can hear her voice in my head and she is coming in loud and clear!  So you see, loved ones may travel on to the kingdom of Heaven, but they never really leave us.  We just have to be alert and aware and willing to receive the messages that are coming our way!

This doesn't mean that I miss her any less, but it does give me comfort to know that she isn't really gone. The thing I am most thankful for is the fact that I know that there will come a day in which we will all come together again, in the presence of our king and savior, and there will be no more tears, no more sickness and no more death!  I am most thankful for the gift of everlasting life that comes from obeying the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

So I say..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!  Enjoy your celebration in Heaven and save a place for me!  I will be there soon!